The [Other] C-Word

Greetings Homie,

Well, I'm gonna keep it real and let you all know that I am currently on a boy-break/celibate. That means I am putting my dating life on hold! Not to say that it was poppin' off the charts, but I did have some options. Nevertheless, I'm taking myself off the 'market.'
Why... am I choosing to go dry(er).

It's simple. I need a fucking hobby. That's right, a hobby. You remember what that is, right? It's what we made up/embellished on our college applications to look well-rounded. Well back then I didn't really appreciate what the hobby could do for a person's soul etc.

Let me school you on the importance of having a hobby (and yes, I'm going to use that word as much as possible to drill it into your brain!).

What your hobby can do for you:

1. Meet like-minded people.
For some reason I find that a lot of folk meet their friends at work, through people they are or have dated OR they simply grew up with them. All good reasons and what not, but I like to branch out. And as you grow older your interest etc. change and sometimes it's nice to embrace change with a new set of people. For example, I'm into homemaking + so I plan to attend homemaking events in my city i.e. sewing/embroidery classes and what not.

2. New Dick.
Sometimes when you are just enjoying life and going with spur of the moment interests you meet someone who can really knock your socks off. Has anyone had this experience?

3. Self-Discovery.
I have a type-A personality and so I try to be a little more type-B. I try to go with the flow more, just let things be and generally not be so damn uptight. Starting a new hobby is a great way for me to experience personal growth because I have to kind of let go and adapt to a new method of doing something. For example, I LOVE to make Indian food and Chinese food. Now here's the thing: even though it's technically just cooking both of these cuisines require different methods.

In essence, I"m taking a boy-break to learn more about myself and give myself more time to just BE ME. To be my authentic self and not, I want to look cute so that some dude will take me out to eat etc... Is anyone else just doing them right now, and playing it easy?

Grad School & Motivation

Hello all! Whether you're in front of one of the city halls staging an #occupycithall protest, at work trying not to fall asleep, or in a library finishing an assignment- I appreciate the time you took out to escape to our page.

Source: http://pfiesterpfit.wordpress.com/2011/08/02/fitness-the-need-for-more-than-motivation/

First I'm going to let it be known that I might be M.I.A. from the blog more often than not. I love this blog like I would my child-that I don't have. However, I'm a graduate student (Clap for em) and have a job (payday baby!) and find myself more and more strapped for time. I remember those days (only a few months ago) where I wished I was back in school taking classes. Now those days are long gone and in only my third week of classes, I'm ready for a break.Unfortunately (or fortunately depending on how you look at it), I won't have a break until Thanksgiving. So my posts will be few and far between. I hope my fellow ladies can keep trucking without me. We're all professional ladies, so please bear with us when our postings become sporadic.

I find the work extremely interesting and even find myself reading state budgets with pleasure. I really didn't know when I stepped into the world of social science and policy that I would be hooked, but so far so good. I was worried that I wouldn't enjoy my degree (M.S. in Professional Studies with a Concentration of Education Policy) but have found the various assignments to be extremely informative and have found myself becoming a much more engaged citizen with regards to education. As an education student with minimal experience tutoring or teaching, I live vicariously through Le Chele. I readily admit that I will probably end up being one of those policy makers with limited experience in education, but with a whole lot of heart regarding making the suffering education system work. I want to help create standards of equality in education, because the students always being left behind are the poor, minority, esl, and disabled. It has been this way since the start of education in America and it remains a struggling system of inequality.

Source: http://lifesabusiness.wordpress.com/introduction/ok-im-needing-motivation/

 

That being said. During my second week of classes I hit a road block of sorts. I found every possible way to procrastinate and made every possible excuse to hold off doing my assigned readings and writings. And then on Sunday at 3pm I found myself with 2 discussion posts due that day, with no research done and no idea what I was going to write about. I was reminded of college, where I would party or laze around until Sunday then find myself doing an allnighter. Luckily I was able to push it out and finished everything by 11pm. I don't know if it was as good as it could have been if I hadn't rushed, but I stick by my belief that I work better under pressure. Then again, that might just be another excuse.

As the end of my third week approaches I find myself in a better place: with one assignment already under my belt, some of my books needed for research already on my desk, and a mindset ready to work. I'm definitely under some pressure with all the assignment still due: another discussion, 1 quiz, and 2 papers. But I think I can handle it, if I don't fall back into my lazy ways. I just need to stay motivated. And when I lack that motivation, I just need to do what I need to do to get it back.

But my question for you all is: What things do you do to remain motivated? What gets you out of that lazy funk and back to business? Any suggestions for a habitually lazy student?

PSA for Black Mothers

On my way home from work, a younger Black woman on the train was struggling with her two little girls. The subways car was slightly crowded and because the able-bodied people around her were assholes, only the older child was able to sit. The mother had to stand and carry the toddler in her arms, while trying her best to maintain her balance. I was appalled. Me and the gentleman sitting next to me offered the lady and her children seats.

The train ride happened fifteen minutes after I found myself in a little bit of a tiff with a parent. The confrontation went as follows:

Mother: Andrew's not with you?
Me: No, along with the other kids who weren't listening are being escorted with the dance teacher.
Mother: He cant be doing no extra time. I'm on a schedule. It's bad enough I have to wait from 5 o' clock.
Me: It's only for a couple of more minutes. And dismissal isn't really until 6.

The exchange happened at 5:48. Visibly annoyed, the mother avoided contact with me until her son was dismissed. It did not bother me much but I was frustrated that she cared more about getting home early than she did about her kid's poor behavior.

Because I am a Queen!

This is dedicated to black women all over the world who are comfortable with their true essence. You got ninjas from Old Spice commercials and certain hairstylists dissing nappy hair. Even pseudo-pyschologists come up with bullshit science to prove our ugliness. Whatever! We stay fly!

India Arie is a phenomenal artist who's career should have flourished more. I enjoy much of her music, but decided to focus my attention on her breakthrough single for political and personal reasons. Most people appreciate "Video" for its uplifting message, one that says that we should embrace all characteristics of our beauty, including the quirks. Plenty of songs have been dedicated to our beauty but few have come from the perspective of a sister herself. This is worth noting because it allows us to define exactly what about ourselves is beautiful.

I've shared my past struggles with how I looked. Too often do young sisters like myself rely on others (re: men) for sense of self. This song was recorded over ten years ago but is just as relevant today as it was then especially inn a time where lacefronts are running a muck and Nicki Minaj is emblematic of what is desirable for many engaged in pop culture.India Arie did something amazing when she said to us, I will dictate what is beautiful about me. Of course she should! She's a Queen, after all.

*The numerous links are a celebration of the milestone we made with this blog and the incredible growth my fellow sisters and I have made over time.

It's a New Dawn, a New Day, a New Time!

What's good folks?

I'm writing with childish excitement because today was a wonderful day in the [black woman] neighborhood.

Anyway, I was on clutchmagonline.com and I read this article by that dude who did all those Allspice commercials. The post is about him not liking nappy hair and preferring women w. good hair. * blank stare * I was SO pleased w. the comments because every single one of them gave this dude the shrug. The 'Yes and...' shrug you get at the DMV, the 'and so what?' shrug...the ultimate...shrug:

This matters to me because I want to see more (black) women develop the self-confidence to shrug off people who don't find them attractive. And I think this should go vice versa. Short dudes, you know I love you riiiight?, if a lady clowns you, shrug her!

Do you shrug when you hear someone does not like nappy hair? Do you feel that Black women have become more self-confident over the past few years, especially with the ubiquity of natural hair?