Leave Gabby Alone!

I've been very excited about the Olympic this year. So of course I have been very proud of America's female Olympic team, especially Gabrielle Douglas. The 16-year old from Virginia Beach twisted, tumbled, flipped and twirled her way to win a gold medal yesterday.

Apparently the journey has presented plenty of challenges to young Gabby. She injured her hamstring and consequently fell a few times during the U.S. nationals. But with hard work, including practicing six to seven times a day, she was able to travel with the United States and join the Olympic team this year.

But what are people focusing on? Her hair. No seriously. My friend informed me that her hair was a target of controversy in the past two days. Apparently people-mostly black women- were annoyed that her hair was not presentable and even embarrassing her fellow black people. Thankfully there were sensible, respectful people who defended her and retorted, "She just won a gold medal! What the hell is your problem?!"

This blog is about mental health with a focus on the black community. At first it may appear as if this post is off topic but I told my friend I had to blog about this story in particular. It is because I was Gabby, in fact we all were. Words, that is our interactions with people affect our emotional well being. Women, especially black women, are held to ridiculously high beauty standards. Even worse, we harshly scrutinize other women's appearances, further contributing to the oppressive treatment of women. This is one of the causes of the cycle of low self-esteem that plagues our community.

We were all sixteen once. And when I was sixteen, I was fragile, impressionable and sensitive. Gabby is only sixteen and she is a public figure. She's not an entertainer like Miley Cyrus or Justin Beiber. She's an athlete and her appearance is not a real factor in her occupation. She excels in what she does and is quite phenomenal. How awful it is for petty people who potentially take away from her happiness to criticize her for her hair of all things!

Then I realized how deep the importance of hair is for many black women. This is a very general statement but as a black woman who has had her share of shade from other black women, I can attest that black women place a lot of their esteem into their hair. Our hair is commonly referred to as our glory and for the most part I can dig it. But too often does hair become something that makes us insecure. In other words, many black women cannot go anywhere without their hair done. This insecurity pours over to other people. Our insecurities have the potential to cause great harm to others, Gabby in particular.

Gabrielle Douglass is now being torn apart because her hair is not up to par. Hopefully, she is mature and confident enough to ignore the shallow criticism, and celebrate her recent accomplishments. But I worry that this would be too big of a feat for the teenager and the negativity will overshadow her success. So I ask you to be respectful of Gabby and recognize that a few years ago, she was you. Only, you probably did not have a gold medal.


This post is cross listed at LeChele's new blog on black people and mental health issues, Black with the Blues.

Love Is Blind

Back from my pseudo hiatus, I had to come back hard for Throwback Tuesdays! I have been closely following the attacks being made against women's rights, specifically the "personhood" movement. Philly rapper Eve's 1999 hit, "Love Is Blind" seemed fitting for the climate of the times.

Songstress Faith Evans sings the hook beautifully, making 'Love Is Blind' sound beautiful, despite its somber message. The video is tragic and the song is poignant, being one of the few hip hop songs to highlight domestic violence. And for that, it is this week's Throwback of the week.

Almost 1 out of 5 Women in America are Sexually Assaulted

I'm not sure if I can provide much commentary about something so obviously tragic. Instead, I'll just cite a few more statistics from today's New York Times' article highlighting the magnitude of sexual assault in the best nation in the world:

• Nearly one in five women surveyed said they had been raped or had experienced an attempted rape at some point
• One in four reported having been beaten by an intimate partner 
• One in six women have been stalked
• 1 percent of women surveyed reported being raped in the previous year, a figure that suggests that 1.3 million American women annually may be victims of rape or attempted rape
• One in seven men have experienced severe violence at the hands of an intimate partner, the survey found
• More than half of female rape victims had been raped by an intimate partner and 40 percent had been raped by an acquaintance 

There are two words I typically don't appreciate in political discourse, crisis and and war. However, I feel they are appropriate to use here. People love to describe unfortunate issues as crises, especially those related to social justice. But if everything is a crisis, then nothing is really a crisis. In my opinion, the prevalence of sexual assault accurately fits the definition of a crisis as defined by Merriam-Webster. 

"an unstable or crucial time or state of affairs in which a decisive change is impending; especially : one with the distinct possibility of a highly undesirable outcome."

Sexual assault is more a crisis, than lets stay our sorry educational system, for example. It is part of a larger problem which is our country's current war against women. Again, I generally dislike fabricated wars (e.g.- War on Drugs, War on Terror) because they are little more than propaganda bullshakkle and usually involves some money making scheme. The attack against women's bodies is nothing. I just can't help but think sexual assault is linked to recent, radical attacks against women's rights including the nascent "personhood movement" and the administration's decision to require girls under the age of 18 to obtain a prescription for morning-after pill.

The war against women has created a nation that is apathetic to the well-being of women and girls, the tolerance of sexual assault is a byproduct. Because sex crimes are escalating at a time when the attack against women is also escalating  politically, (i.e.-state of affairs in which a decisive change is impending) we have created a crisis.

Safe Sex Commandments

 Well, Sista Zipporah and I were at her place last night, just chillin and shit. You know how we do. In addition to eating, drankin (of course), we talked about a whole heap of black issues. Of the many black issues that we have, we talked extensively about the continued practice of unsafe sex among our people. I would imagine that this is common among all demographics but considering the prevalence of teen pregnancy and high STD infection rates in our community, it's a problem that disproportionately hurts us more.

So it begs the question, why aren't people using condoms?? They're cheap, ubiquitous and well, important goddammit! Despite the PSA's and the many conversations about dire statistics, people are still not wearing condoms. Why? Clearly the HIV/ AIDS awareness messages are not getting through to black folk, especially young ones. Zippy and I decided to channel our inner fifteen year old, and create reasons to stay protected in a manner that would hopefully resonate with them crazy keeds.

10 Safe Sex Commandments

1. Ladies, if he doesn't want to do it with a condom....then he probably can't do it that good.
2. Would you trust him with you car??? Exactly.
3. Sure, that baby would be cute… but working 40 hrs a week for $7.25 to buy diapers and crappy baby food ain’t!
4. Sex with a condom is better than sex with a 2 year old around.
5. In Genesis it says be fruitful and multiply… but Adam and Eve ain’t have bills to pay!
6. In 2009, African Americans comprised 14% of the US population but accounted for 44% of all new HIV infections. We fuckin up!
7. Compare the price of a condom, with the price of a baby or with the price of lifelong HIV Treatment… WRAP IT UP.
8.   Don’t like to swallow… try swallowing a fistful of pills a day to stay alive.
9. Fellas, how many of y'all grew up without a dad? Be a real man and end the cycle with you.
10. It is OKAY to have sex, it’s even better when you know you’re safe.

 

Mississippi Goddam!!!

Miss Nina Simone was one of the most profound musicians of her time. Whether she was singing jazz, blues, gospel or rhythm and blues, she often incorporated social and political themes from the Civil Rights movement into many of her songs. 'Mississippi Goddam' was written in 1963 in  response to two events that symbolized the escalating violence occurring across the country- the assassination of civil rights activist Medgar Evers and the bombing of the 16th Street Baptist Church in Birmingham, Alabama which left four little girls killed.

Well the country has changed significantly since this song was written, with extreme racial violence being considerably less common. And while Mississippi is included in that progress, the state is currently engaging in politics that could endanger the lives of many of its citizens, albeit way different from the days of race riots and lynchings. These citizens are women and the attack is against their (our) bodies, ostensibly their privacy. This is attack is being carried out by "Yes on 26," a campaign that to amend the state's constitution, defining life at the start of conception.

Mississippi Goddam!!!

La Vida de La Lupe

It was in high school when the Spanish language first sparked my interest. Outside of class, I would listen to the radio station La Mega while trying to pick up the language through song. I enjoy merengue and bachata, the two most popular styles of music in the Dominican Republic but I prefer salsa, especially the good, Fania shit. Fania Records was essentially the Motown of Latin music that housed salsa pioneers like Celia Cruz, Hector Lavoe, and Ray Barretto. Salsa music was instrumental in introducing the larger world to the sounds of Caribbean oriented music, musica tropical. 

But before there was salsa, there was Puerto Rican bomba. There was cha-cha and mambo. Though salsa music is huge, it still is a fairly new genre of music, originating in the 1960's and 1970's. The aforementioned styles of music, as well as many others, were the components of musica tropical and La Lupe was the champion of them all. I can't pinpoint when I first discovered her music, but I promise that I have not listened to music the same way since.

Brash, flamboyant, witty and fiery, the Cuban-born singer was dubbed the Queen of Latin Soul but has been largely forgotten over the years. La Lupe's music was just as much sexy as it was political. Exiled from Cuba, she kicked off her shoes after each performance as a form of protest against Castro's regime.

She started her career singing traditional Cuban music with an orchestra led by Latin jazz great Mongo Santamaria. Impressed with her rich voice, she caught the attention of Tito Puente and together they had a string of hits including her most famous song, "Que Te Pedi." Her mastery of tropical rhythms along with her over-the-top persona, gave her performance an edge never seen before by Latin audiences. She would erratically hit her face, clap irregularly to the beat or at times, even slap her breasts while shouting "Ahi Nama!" With an act like none other, she was on top of the world in the sixties. But it wouldn't last for much longer.

La Lupe's life soon became consumed by alcoholism and drug addiction. Her drug-addict husband, who was later diagnosed as a schizophrenic, became abusive towards her. Between his hospital bills and her endless donations to Santeros, she went broke. The despair that now defined her life began to taint her professional life as she became more and more of a burden to her associates. According to Tito Puente, she her refusal to convert to salsa music and sticking with traditional musica tropical would soon make her a hasbeen. He decided to part ways with her.

In "Oriente," she beautifully emotes her falling out with Tito Puente as she shouts "Ay ay ay, Tito Puente me botó!"- a loose translation of 'he kicked me out.' She died from a heart attack at the young age of 52. How did this happen? She was the first Latin singer to sell out of Madison Square Garden, but some how once ended up homeless and destitute. She traveled around the world, wowing audiences with her musical genius but is relatively unknown to many fans of Latin music. La Lupe was as much passionate and talented as she was troubled. Once loved, but now forgotten, she lived a life free of apologies or restrictions. It may have worked to her detriment but that's what makes her legacy so incredible.

PSA for Black Mothers

On my way home from work, a younger Black woman on the train was struggling with her two little girls. The subways car was slightly crowded and because the able-bodied people around her were assholes, only the older child was able to sit. The mother had to stand and carry the toddler in her arms, while trying her best to maintain her balance. I was appalled. Me and the gentleman sitting next to me offered the lady and her children seats.

The train ride happened fifteen minutes after I found myself in a little bit of a tiff with a parent. The confrontation went as follows:

Mother: Andrew's not with you?
Me: No, along with the other kids who weren't listening are being escorted with the dance teacher.
Mother: He cant be doing no extra time. I'm on a schedule. It's bad enough I have to wait from 5 o' clock.
Me: It's only for a couple of more minutes. And dismissal isn't really until 6.

The exchange happened at 5:48. Visibly annoyed, the mother avoided contact with me until her son was dismissed. It did not bother me much but I was frustrated that she cared more about getting home early than she did about her kid's poor behavior.

Because I am a Queen!

This is dedicated to black women all over the world who are comfortable with their true essence. You got ninjas from Old Spice commercials and certain hairstylists dissing nappy hair. Even pseudo-pyschologists come up with bullshit science to prove our ugliness. Whatever! We stay fly!

India Arie is a phenomenal artist who's career should have flourished more. I enjoy much of her music, but decided to focus my attention on her breakthrough single for political and personal reasons. Most people appreciate "Video" for its uplifting message, one that says that we should embrace all characteristics of our beauty, including the quirks. Plenty of songs have been dedicated to our beauty but few have come from the perspective of a sister herself. This is worth noting because it allows us to define exactly what about ourselves is beautiful.

I've shared my past struggles with how I looked. Too often do young sisters like myself rely on others (re: men) for sense of self. This song was recorded over ten years ago but is just as relevant today as it was then especially inn a time where lacefronts are running a muck and Nicki Minaj is emblematic of what is desirable for many engaged in pop culture.India Arie did something amazing when she said to us, I will dictate what is beautiful about me. Of course she should! She's a Queen, after all.

*The numerous links are a celebration of the milestone we made with this blog and the incredible growth my fellow sisters and I have made over time.

Angela Winbush: The Voice of an Angel

Mama Chele stopped listening to contemporary rhythm and blues in the 90's. She couldn't get into the genre's continued merge with hip hop so whileI was growing up, tunes from the previous decade were heavily played in our living room. Through the speakers came music from Luther, Whitney, Anita, Teddy and Patti. I know each of these artists' music as well as I know the alphabet but absent from the list is Miss Angela Winbush, the songstress who topped the charts in the 80's, mostly as a part of the duo, Rene and Angela.

Hopefully you all are familiar with this song. With a perfect blend of soul and funk, it's arguably the biggest hit of their career, coming off their breakthrough album A Street Called Desire in 1984. They had a string of hits, including songs from their earlier albums including "You Don't Have to Cry" and "My First Love," the latter was covered and was a big hit almost twenty years later by Avant and Keke Wyatt.

"Your Smile" is my song! Mostly led by Angela herself, I believe it was a dedication to her grandmother. She and Rene wrote beautiful songs and other artists sought the two out for their songwriting skills. They wrote a few songs for Janet Jackson's self-titled album and then wrote exclusively for Stephanie Mills. From their music and videos it appeared as if Rene and Angela's chemistry was as perfect as their talent. However, on TV One's UnSung, Winbush revealed that their relationship began to sour and that Rene even was physically abusive towards her in the end.

Needless to say the two went their separate ways. He continued songwriting, most notably for Michael Jackson. Angela started her solo career off strong with the single 'Angel' where she showcased her amazing vocal ability. Her debut album Sharp happened largely with the help of Ronald Isley. It was his way of thanking her for contributing to the production of the Isley Brothers' album Smooth Sailing. Her career continued to soar for the following years and she even ended up marrying Mr. Biggs in 1993.

But with her success came tragedy. Though she continued to collaborate with the Isley Brothers, Angela and Ron divorced in 2002. A year later she publicly announced that she was diagnosed with stage three ovarian cancer. She also struggled with severe depression. Angela attributes her full recovery to her deep faith in God. Well we are happy to still have her here with us. Her music is a treasure and while she may not be as well known as other artists of that time period, her talents and contributions to the music world were undoubtedly significant.

The Fiore Scott Files: When You Touch My Hair (Part 1)

I had already planned on writing this piece because of my recent and past experiences with hair touching, but my sis lemonswithsalt sealed the deal for me when we got into a conversation about people touching our hair. We are both natural haired sisters (as are Zipporah and Le Chele) and with the diverse styles we craft for our coiffure, it isn't unusual for us to get asked about our hair or for it to be touched.

Now everyone knows that many black sisters, no matter how their hair is coiffed, have issues with random people touching their hair. Of course, there are some who are of the school of thought that it isn't that big a deal. But lemonswithsalt and I agreed that it's an invasion of personal space for people you don't know or people who don't ask, to just touch our hair. For her, "it's not about race. Or exoticism. It's about sitting on the train, and someone sitting next to you, reaching over and touching your hair without even speaking". And as someone who's had these very same experiences, I couldn't but help agree.

When I visited some friends who were living and studying in Paris back in 2009, I first really experienced this hair touching phenomenon. My friend Katy and I were staying in Paris for a long weekend and though we had walked everywhere in the city for the first day we were there, the first night we went out we decided to try the trains. While sitting on the train a group of older drunk white men sat down catty corner to us. And the one closest to me automatically started speaking French to me and touching my hair. I immediately started shrugging his hands off and replying in Greek to "not touch me" and to basically leave me alone. Of course, him not knowing Greek and me knowing only a little French, there was a language barrier [1]. But he continued petting me and I staunchly ignored it. My friend wondered why I didn't get up and move and I responded that I didn't want to attract anymore attention or have the group of men following us.  

When we finally met up with my guy friend who was staying in Paris, I immediately told him the story and he refused to believe me. He had been living there for over 6 months by that point and had never witnessed or heard of such a situation, so it was definitely beyond his scope that a random man who just start touching my hair. However later in the night when we had stopped along a street to try to figure out what to do before the end of our night, I had a run in with another random Parisian who was enamoured with my hair. As we stood on the sidewalk I watched from the corner of my eye as a drunk couple came up the street arguing. However I was totally caught off guard when the man stopped behind me and just stuck his hand in my afro and started basically feeling my hair up. He was drunkenly staring at his girlfriend who was staring wide-eyed and annoyed back at him, while I stared wide-eyed back at my friends. And my guy friend was flabergasted. He had never seen such a thing and finally believed me. 

Since then I've had other situations where my hair has been touched by random people and I usually just shrug it off. Sometimes I find it annoying, sometimes I find it humorous. I don't make too much of a big deal, but at the same time, people need to learn that it is an invasion of space to just go up and touch someone's hair. You wouldn't want someone just going up and touching your face or your purse. In the same way it's really not okay for random people to just approach a girl or guy and feel up their hair. Sure you can fully appreciate the beauty of the coiffure but if you want to touch, at least ask. You'll find that many of us don't really mind, especially if you ask.   

But then again, if you approach me the right way, you can touch my hair all you want. But that's a story for part 2. 

But ladies and gents, tell me the deal: How do you feel about random people touching your hair? Does it matter if they ask or not? 

[1] For some reason I didn't use English, but maybe that was because I didn't want to fully showcase my identity.

No Woman Left Behind

Earlier this month, New York City Mayor, Michael Bloomberg announced the Young Men's Iniative- a program designed to prevent young black and latino men from entering or reentering the incarceration system. Quite admirably, he will donate 30 million dollars to the project and have that amount matched by fellow billionaire George Soros.

The program is designed to take a more holistic approach to improving the lives of the men in trapped in our underclass. This includes reforming the Probation Department and expanding it into high crime areas in the city like East New York, Brooklyn; Jamaica, Queens and the South Bronx. Hundreds of mentors will also be hired and will theoretically have many of the same struggles of the men they are helping. There will also be a wide array of programs offering services like job training, computer classes and community upkeep  to improve poor employment.

I am no fan of this mayor, but I respect him for recognizing the needs poor men in New York City, and making the effort to better their lives. But what about the plight of poor black and latina women?? Statistics of the impact of  poverty on black women is similiar but the concern given to us is not and that angers me. Hell, for every black man in jail, there is a black woman left alone to raise a family by herself.

Many will argue that there is a level of urgency needed in addressing the issues that are currently facing black men today, especially in light of this recession. Dropout rates, incarceration, joblessness, homicide rates, etc. are all higher for minority men than they are even for minority women. That is true. But that doesn't mean that issues that affect black men are more than those of black women, they are simply different. Part of our struggle is the systemic disregard for the struggles we face.

Black women are more likely to be the victims of violence, including domestic violence and sexual assault. Nationally, 43 percent of black women report they were verbally or emotionally abused while growing up. Approximately 20 percent reported they were physically abused as a child and another 22 percent said they were sexually abused, according to a 2001 study conducted for the Black Women's Health Imperative. Interestingly enough, I could not find more recent studies but I assume the statistics remain stagnant, that is if they haven't worsened.

Violence in addition to structural cultural alienation, racism and sexism has put a huge strain on black women's mental health as well. We are more susceptible to depression and post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). As for physical health, African American women have the highest rates of being overweight or obese compared to other groups in the U.S, putting us at higher risk for hypertension, diabetes and high cholesterol. Plus we have a higher mortality rates for various cancers, especially breast cancer and cervical cancer.

I blame Steve Harvey and his ilk for collapsing the struggles of black women to not being able to find a man, as if it is the biggest obstacle they need to overcome. This same sexism is akin to our collective preference on black male issues. This is purely theory, but I think most people adopt this patriarchal mindset and believe that the uplift of the black man is critical to the betterment of the black community. It is ironic considering our long history of women- Mothers and Grandmothers- heading households and being the primary guardians for fatherless children.

So I ask, how far do we have to fall for people to try to catch us? Where are our leaders to mobilize on behalf of our plight? Because the need is there, but the concern isn't.