.....wassup...

So, you know, I haven't been around. Made big promises and what not and did not follow through. Shit.. I"m on my grind. I'm trying to be a medical anthropologist and what not...

On the real I'm sorry and it will happen again.

On the bright side, here are some soon-to-be posts to look forward to:

1. Oh, word? [About my...interesting...date]

2. How to Cook For One [one of my delicious and healthy dinner/lunch recipes]

3. How to Tell If He's Gay

4. Girl, Should I [dudes to say yes to...dudes to just run from]

Excited? Me too.

Yo, What's the Name of that Song Again?!

Picture this. It is a Friday night and you're with your girlfriends and you all are getting down, releasing all of the energy built up from the many stresses of daily life. The DJ is doing their thing and everybody in the room is dancing their behind off, grooving to good music, young and old. But then that song comes on. You know, that song. You have heard it many times before and probably know most of the words. You love this song!

But what's the name of it? You want to add it to your iTunes library but can't do it without know either the name of the song or who sings it. So here is my Top 10 list of obscure jams that I have had to research in the past.


10. Freak Like Me by Adina Howard

9. I'll Do Anything For You by Denroy Morgan

8. Rock Creek Park by Donald Byrd and the Blackbirds

Novacane, Novacane

I complain frequently about the state of mainstream hip and r&b music. However, I am excited about Frank Ocean's emergence on the scene. He's no modern-day Marvin Gaye but he's intriguing, especially his hit song 'Novacane.' The song was apparently inspired by a female dentist student with whom he was acquainted with whose good lovin' kept him numb- figuratively or literally, who knows. The song is catchy, sporadic and seemingly nonsensical but I connect to the underlying message in the song, one that most overlook.

The lyrics are what resonate with me. No I don't binge on cocaine or sex but I do relate to the feeling of numbness. For the past few months I have lost a lot of life in me. My thoughts lack clarity causing many of my actions to be thoughtless. Personal struggles have left my spirits low. I'm always sleepy. I no longer have the energy to go to school or work. I've let my friends down and over the years while I continue to disappoint many in my family.

I'm a mess. My basement is still nasty because I haven't had the willpower to clean it, despite ample time to do so. Three pieces of leftover Popeyes chicken was my dinner today, followed later by pieces of watermelon because I felt guilty for not eating vegetables in the past two days. Seriously.

Never before have I let troubles with my emotions pour over into my physical health. I decided to do a quasi-cleanse, one that will restrict me to a vegan diet. No meat, no dairy, no fried foods, no liquor and no caffeine. I'm looking to purify myself and rid myself of at least some of the junk I've accumulated over time, most especially that serving of Popeyes.


Because it is not a cleanse in the truest sense, I don't expect to become as fit as Serena. It's more psychological related. It is more difficult to figure shit out if you, well, feel like shit. Paradoxically, if you treat your body like shit, you can end up feeling pretty badly. My drinking has become more casual. My boyfriend asked me one night if I had been drinking before we met up. I lied. At first it was because I didn't want to face his judgement, but I really wanted to shield myself from my reality. So I lied and then drank more than night until I was lying calmly on our friend's couch. I wasn't fucked up but I was perfectly numb.

It's how two large cups of coffee feel back to back or after a breakdown on a NYC subway. 'Novacane' is illustrates how a clouded conscious causes you to partake in self-destructive behavior. Frank Ocean captures that such behavior isn't intended for satisfaction or fulfillment. He recognizes that some people want to feel numb. Numb, numb, numb, numb. Some people could give a damn about excitement or happiness, even. Some just want to simply exist calmly. I sometimes want the freedom of not feeling anything. Maybe one day I'll appreciate love and happiness, but first I have to gain clarity from within. Right now, I am stuck feeling numb. 

The Fiore Scott Files: When You Touch My Hair (Part 1)

I had already planned on writing this piece because of my recent and past experiences with hair touching, but my sis lemonswithsalt sealed the deal for me when we got into a conversation about people touching our hair. We are both natural haired sisters (as are Zipporah and Le Chele) and with the diverse styles we craft for our coiffure, it isn't unusual for us to get asked about our hair or for it to be touched.

Now everyone knows that many black sisters, no matter how their hair is coiffed, have issues with random people touching their hair. Of course, there are some who are of the school of thought that it isn't that big a deal. But lemonswithsalt and I agreed that it's an invasion of personal space for people you don't know or people who don't ask, to just touch our hair. For her, "it's not about race. Or exoticism. It's about sitting on the train, and someone sitting next to you, reaching over and touching your hair without even speaking". And as someone who's had these very same experiences, I couldn't but help agree.

When I visited some friends who were living and studying in Paris back in 2009, I first really experienced this hair touching phenomenon. My friend Katy and I were staying in Paris for a long weekend and though we had walked everywhere in the city for the first day we were there, the first night we went out we decided to try the trains. While sitting on the train a group of older drunk white men sat down catty corner to us. And the one closest to me automatically started speaking French to me and touching my hair. I immediately started shrugging his hands off and replying in Greek to "not touch me" and to basically leave me alone. Of course, him not knowing Greek and me knowing only a little French, there was a language barrier [1]. But he continued petting me and I staunchly ignored it. My friend wondered why I didn't get up and move and I responded that I didn't want to attract anymore attention or have the group of men following us.  

When we finally met up with my guy friend who was staying in Paris, I immediately told him the story and he refused to believe me. He had been living there for over 6 months by that point and had never witnessed or heard of such a situation, so it was definitely beyond his scope that a random man who just start touching my hair. However later in the night when we had stopped along a street to try to figure out what to do before the end of our night, I had a run in with another random Parisian who was enamoured with my hair. As we stood on the sidewalk I watched from the corner of my eye as a drunk couple came up the street arguing. However I was totally caught off guard when the man stopped behind me and just stuck his hand in my afro and started basically feeling my hair up. He was drunkenly staring at his girlfriend who was staring wide-eyed and annoyed back at him, while I stared wide-eyed back at my friends. And my guy friend was flabergasted. He had never seen such a thing and finally believed me. 

Since then I've had other situations where my hair has been touched by random people and I usually just shrug it off. Sometimes I find it annoying, sometimes I find it humorous. I don't make too much of a big deal, but at the same time, people need to learn that it is an invasion of space to just go up and touch someone's hair. You wouldn't want someone just going up and touching your face or your purse. In the same way it's really not okay for random people to just approach a girl or guy and feel up their hair. Sure you can fully appreciate the beauty of the coiffure but if you want to touch, at least ask. You'll find that many of us don't really mind, especially if you ask.   

But then again, if you approach me the right way, you can touch my hair all you want. But that's a story for part 2. 

But ladies and gents, tell me the deal: How do you feel about random people touching your hair? Does it matter if they ask or not? 

[1] For some reason I didn't use English, but maybe that was because I didn't want to fully showcase my identity.

A Survival Guide for Broke People

Here in New York City, we have experienced our fair share of rain in the past few weeks. The weather has put a damper (pun intended) on people's summer plans *cough cough Afropunk festival cough cough* and it doesn't show signs of stopping any time soon. I hate the rain, particularly being outside in the rain, so I have decided to take advantage of the gloomy weather and use it as a time to be productive and catch up on some much needed work. However, after viewing my checking account balance, I have realized that many weekend nights will have to be spent at home, whether rain or sunshine. So fellow members of Broke Phi Broke, know that cutting back is not the end of the world and will be advantageous in the long run. Here are some of the ways I will remedy this not-so-fun phase of my life.

1. Create a game plan to end my brokeness

I have never really followed a budget, which is pretty pathetic considering my age and history of poor spending habits. So I am going to create one! First, I have to find a calculator considering I haven't used one since high school. Then I'm going to have to be real with myself. How can I revamp my wardrobe while still fulfilling my love of gastronomics? What do cut out of my spending to allow me to put $$$ in my currently-non-existent savings account?

I then am going to pull out my calendar, something I haven't used since...ever, and better organize my job search game. It is so easy to get overwhelmed but having a blue print makes the process easier. For me, it is easy to just say apply to 3 jobs a day for me to actually do it. Make sure your resume and cover letter are at their best and remember to stay positive and confident.

2. Reading and writing

I refuse to allow my brokeness to force me into a life of boredom and what better way to bring excitement into my poor life than with reading and writing! *sigh*

Here is the time when you can catch up with current affairs by perusing newspapers and blogs and all that jazz. Taking after my father, I have a bad habit of reading two or three books at a time and never having the discipline to finish many. My bookmark is smack in the middle of Amiri Baraka's Blues People and I have readings for class about systematic racial segregation in America.

As for my writing, I have a half-written short story in my journal, one unedited short story, three unedited/ unfinished poems and countless ideas not yet put on paper. Plenty of free time should be a viable solution to my struggles with self-motivation.

3. Cleaning my Nasty Ass Basement

For real, for real.

4. Cooking Something Unique and/ or Healthy

Sadly, Papa Chele has been sick for the past few months leaving me to have to help out Mama Chele little more. Preparing food for the family has been one of my main responsibilities. My parents are picky, Southern and therefore want food they are familiar with. Well, now that I have more time to myself, I can take time out to cook for myself. I think I am going to cook one of my favorite dishes from my vegetarian days, Chickpea and Dumpling soup. Nutritious and delicious!

5. Invite Loved Ones Over

After you clean your nasty ass house, you can now have company. You can be nice and prepare food for them out of the goodness of your heart. But you can also be real and place a hat the foot of the door, reminiscent of Rent Parties, and have your friend reimburse you (assuming they aren't as broke as you). Either way, it is easy to feel lonely during times like this so it is important to not allow your financial struggles to keep you distant from your friends. So having your friends over for a card party or just play Bid Whist with your parents like me and endure the mindless trash talking. Upgrade your iTunes or dust off some classic vinyls because chances are it is better than that Bottom 40 shit their playing in the clubs.

So yeah, take time out to create a blueprint for a better future for yourself. However, understand this is an opportunity to work at improving your mind and body while appreciating the non materialistic things in your life. So cook some good food, pull out your Marvin Gaye anthology and be merry!

When Love Calls

This entry of Throwback Tuesdays! is going to be a little different from the rest. I usually do profiles of songs of artists I am already familiar with. And although I am pretty well versed with rhythm and blues of the 80's, I've found myself only recently getting acquainted with music from Atlantic Starr. So this Throwback is potentially a learning experience for us all.

I know this song, and apparently a few of their hits but never connected this songs with the artist. They were a solid R&B band, hailing from White Plains, NY. 'Secret Lovers' was their biggest crossover hit that ironically slowed down their career. Previously, they were already successful but confined within the soul music circuit, scoring a string of hits including "Touch a Four Leaf Clover", "Stand Up" and "Circles."

Their style was mostly typical of music of that era but the band's artistry was better than average. You can hear the slight funk influences from the previous decade in the bass guitar but their sound was more smooth, pairing perfectly with their lyrics of love.

T'his is my favorite song by them. I'm guessing they intentionally sought to expand their audience with 'Secret Lovers' but they should have stuck with their earlier style of music. Of course it is easy to say that in hindsight, but when fans are devoted to you, your music is already established. This happens to a lot of artists, but for some switching the style up has worked for them. Look at Mariah. With 'Vision of Love' she was straight sangin' but ten years later, she was parading around in a leotard, singing about butterflies and shit while sounding like a slutty toddler. *shrugs

So what do you guys think? Did Atlantic Starr's career fade away because of natural causes or was it their shift in style?? Maybe we have to wait for their 'UnSung' episode to find out.

When You Get Hustled by People You Know

My father paid $1500 for a car. We got it  a few weeks ago and I got into my first accident just two days later, unfortunately, on Lincoln Drive. Now you may look at me crazy, but Lincoln Drive is very treacherous when the weather is good, but with the bad rain, it can be damn near impossible. Just ask Teddy.

I found myself having spun out of control and hitting the median. I wasn't speeding, but I did try to go around a driver ahead of me who was weaving in and out of the two lanes. I didn't feel comfortable behind him so I tried to pass him and spun out. Luckily no one was hurt, but my car was damaged a bit on the passenger side. My brother drove it home since I was shook up, and I could only pray to God that my parents didn't kill me, thank Him that no one got hurt, and hope that repairs wouldn't kill my pockets.

We took the car to one mechanic who estimated the repair cost at $400. Not too bad, but my father was on the fence. The guy was young, and my father knew he had come from prison [1]. We also didn't have any prior experience with this particular shop and since it was new, my father wanted to go with someone he knew or someone who was established. Understandable, though I did say that going to this particular guy was giving him another day of honest work and didn't see the problem with trying someone new. But my father was more comfortable going for an estimate to someone he knew. So I went to the mechanic my parents have been sending their cars to for a few years and asked for an estimate. Just an estimate.

I get a call from my father and he tells me that the estimate is for $800. I'm a bit shocked but I can handle that amount. I give the mechanic a call and he gives me a run down of all the problems. And there are quite a few, unfortunately, even though it didn't seem that bad. He also informs me that he had already gotten the parts. I was confused as to why he had done so, since I had just gotten as estimate. So I asked if there was anyway that I could just think about it and come get the car. The mechanic said that was fine, but they would have to but the parts on credit. Sounds like I'm getting charged right?

So, I say well if you already have the parts and if I'm going to get charged for the parts anyway you might as well just do it. I call my father and he tells me that they told him they didn't have the parts yet. So here I have a situation where the mechanic is telling my father one thing and telling me another. I'm not a happy camper and something smells fishy. The mechanic ends up calling back an hour later telling me that they had tried putting the new parts on and that they found another broken part, so with parts and labor everything was going to come up for $1000 roughly. I had a mini-heartattack. But I told them to go ahead, since I had no choice.

I OFFICIALLY GOT GOT.

And it don't feel too good.

My father and mother where not happy. First off, I had only asked for an estimate, but for some reason the shop had decided that they would get the parts- basically guaranteeing that I would go to them. And my mother told me that they've done this many times. So we were dumb to not have learned our lesson the first few times. Fool me once...

Secondly, they are known for doing good work, but charging high prices. I appreciate the work they did, but it took a big hit on my pocket and I still feel things were a bit steep. Thirdly, they were telling my father one thing and me another. That just seemed sketch and I was not a happy camper. Fourth, both my brother and I went to school and basically grew up with the mechanic's kids. And somehow, it still feels like we got got. And I know my father felt bad for making me go there, so he was nice enough to offer to pay me back some of the balance, which I appreciate. But things still just rubbed me the wrong way about this.

I got the car back, though my brother will be using it 90% of the time at college (ain't that a bitch), and it is working as good as we got it. So I can't complain about that. But I now know to be more discerning and I will never go back to this place. We know these mechanics and we've been going to them for years. But when things aren't good it's time to move on. I refuse to be fooled twice.

[1] Not because my father is prejudice or anything. It's the nature of his work to know such things.