Wednesday, June 15, 2011

What I'm Gonna Do Now?

Yes. This is exactly what you think it is. Another birthday shout-out.

You're probably thinking: How you not going to post for a week then come back with this? Yet another birthday post, can you get some new material?!

Well my dear friends. Life has been calling. I've been drinking. Taking care of my family (no kids yet #pause). And playing Cafe World on facebook. I've been busy. Sue me.


Actually this was going to be just that, but my girl lemonswithsalt beat me to it. So I decided to sit on this post for a bit to figure out just what I wanted to say. And then it came to me.

One of my best friends, the very wonderful Zipporah Pearce, is leaving me to go back home.  Sure I'll see her when I decide to hop on the bus and take that ride to her home area. And sure I'll be able to talk with her through gchat and email and comment on her facebook posts. But she won't be here. And I realize that I both haven't taken advantage of seeing her enough and have become very comfortable with her being in such a close distance to me. Because the reality is, I don't have many black friends in my area. It's probably ironic because I live in one of the metropolitan cities in America (sorry no brownie points for guessing which one), and there is no lack of black people. Yet the vast majority of my black (and Latino) friends live in other cities. And that poses a problem.

Because sometimes you just wanna hang with black people.

Now don't get me wrong. I love love love all my friends and I love going out with all of them, no matter who they are or what race they are. I wouldn't be friends with them otherwise. But sometimes you just want to be with who and what you know best. And for me that is with my fellow black people. Sometimes I just want to grind up on a dude in a hood ass club. Sometimes I want to chill in a funky lil dive bar which has the DJ spinning O'Jays while I'm sipping on some E&J and diet Coke. And sometimes I just want to talk about my issues with negroes who make the rest of us look bad.

Sure I could bring some of my white friends to that hood ass club, and I've done so before. It was fun and a new experience for them. But if I want to crack on some black chick who has on a tacky ass weave or rant about some racist ass picture about some black woman I saw earlier that day, my black friends (especially the three ladies I'm doing this blog with) are clutch, because more often than not we are on the same wavelengths about these things. That's not to say my other friends wouldn't get what I'm saying or vibe with me, but there are many things in black culture that only other black people can truly vibe with. Just like there are things my white, Asian, Indian, etc. friends can't really talk to me about. That's just reality.

And my reality is setting in. I will admit to having only 1 or 2 black people in my area that I can really vibe with. A part of it is my fault as I have just fallen off with people, but the telephone line works both ways. But at the same time I realize that its time to get out there and rebuild bridges that are in shambles and create some new bridges along the way. I'm going to take care of the few friendships I do have with the blacks in my area and reach out to those who I've connected with before. And I'm going to invite my other friends to things that I might have before only invited my black friends to. And I'm hoping it will replace the hole Zipporah's leaving.

I'm going to miss Zipporah's presence but I know she's not too far from me and that our friendship will remain strong no matter the distance. I'll still be able to vibe with her even if not in person. And I know it will be messy when we do get together. I'm probably going to tear up when I see her for drinks next week but I wanted to shout her out for being that fantastic friend I could vibe with. Here's to you homie.

Y'all know I had to put this in there. Now this is some good music to vibe to. The stuff of legends.

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