Saturday, June 25, 2011

The Gays are Marrying! The Gays are Marrying!

Well, it has finally happened. Yesterday, New York recognized the separation of church and state while acknowledging equal rights being owed to all. With a 33-29 vote in the State Senate, New York has now legalized same-sex marriage with Governor Andrew Cuomo signing the bill into law. It has been a long time coming. Considering the constant disappointment that is New York politics, I could not be more merrier.

I've been arguing with bigots about this issue since I was an annoying know-it-all in high school. There is simply no justification for disallowing gay men and women to marry, well, the opposite holds true for bigots. It is good to know that the good people of New York are finally getting it. In 2004, only 37 percent of New Yorkers polled approved of the legalization of gay marriage, now 58% reportedly do. Ironically, the bill passed with the new Republican majority in the Senate. I'll go into the politics of what motivated elected officials, namely Democrats, to change their votes at a later time.

As a woman of color, I empathize with discrimination albeit in different forms. The legalization of gay marriage recognizes the separation of church and state and respects the right to privacy for all citizens. We compromise our humanity by placing injustices upon others. This bill is about not allowing for people's prejudices to determine the rights of others. And with the Gay Pride parade tomorrow, this historic piece of legislation could not have come at a better time.

So congratulations gay brothers and sisters for now being a step closer to equality. However, I can't help but worry for the terrorist attacks and natural disaster that will ensue.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Heemy Taught Me! Music I'm Bumping To. (Kinda NSFW)

Two of my best lady friends (and I'm thankful I have so many!) and I were enjoying happy hour and the topic of sexy time in relationships came up. I will admit that I have never had a long term relationship so the idea of sex getting boring, just not happening as often as it used to, or not really lusting after your partner is foreign to me. In the few relationships I've been in, we've been good to go with little coaxing involved [1]. So when it came to advising my friend on how to revive the passion, I really didn't have much to say. I just listened to her and my other friend (who also had dealing with a long term relationship) gab about it.

But one thing that did come up was music. I had advised my friend some months before that music can be key to setting the mood. Having some really smooth sexually-tinged tracks on an itunes playlist. Or just playing around on youtube with your boo and playing some Teddy Pendergrass or some Lauryn Hill can really get you there. Have you ever slow danced in your room with your boo to some Jill Scott or Maxwell? Panty-dropper. You should try it fellas. Thank me later.

My friend did thank me for the advice. She tried that by playing some Robin Thicke and it was clutch. Trust me if you haven't done it already, add some music and step that sex game up. Sexing to some good tunes can set the tempo or could give you and your partner some ideas.

All that being said, here are some artists that are perfect for the Sexy Time Playlist (in no particular order):

1. Maxwell- The Urban Hang Suite

Til The Cops Come Knockin by ice1906

Or really any of his older stuff when he had that wonderful "I'd do him right now" hair.

2. Jill Scott- The Real Thing: Word and Song

Self-explanatory, especially for us big sexy sisters.

3. Bilal- Love For Sale

Lawd Lawd Lawd! That is all.

4. Floetry- Floetic

Why did they have to do solo careers? All they had to do was keep pumping out stuff like this. Seriously.

5. Teddy Pendergrass- Life is a Song Worth Singing

Well. We all know how it's going to go down when you turn this on.

6. Keith Sweat- (Self-Titled)

Have you seen this video? I'm sure you have. How old are these people anyway?

7. Raheem DeVaughn- Jackin' For Beats/ Heemy Taught Me

This video is the business. If you don't have this mixtape. Get it now.

8. Marvin Gaye- Let's Get it On

Another classic panty-dropper. He didn't beat around the bush (ha!).

9. The Roots- Phrenology

Unsurprisingly they have a few beats perfect for sexy time. Another one is with Jill Scott.

10. Prince- Batman Soundtrack (And much much more)

I love how he has that and then he has this.

(Of course I had to give my favorite artist two songs.)

11. D'Angelo- Untitled

All of us lady were all up on the TV when this came on back in the day.

12. Trey Songz- Trey Day

Yeah, Trey Songz has some good stuff. It's still crazy how he worked his way up from his "Just Gotta Make It" days to now.

13. Minnie Riperton- Adventures in Paradise

Yall didn't forget about her did you?

14. Musiq Soulchild- Luvanmusiq

He has some of the most beautiful love songs.

15. Ne-Yo- In My Own Words

Imma try this one day. :D

Well then, that's just a few songs I have one my Sexy Time Playlist. If you are going to have such a playlist (which I always suggest), title it something that won't have you stuttering if your dad is looking for music to play and happens upon it. I go for "Untitled". An ode to D'Angelo if you will. Aiight then:

What songs/artists would you add on your playlist? Does music do it for you and your partner, or does it take something else? Speak on it.

[1] No long term relationships you say? It is what it is. Actually I think it's pretty common for a lot of us younger ladies and fellas to not have been in serious relationships. We've got many more years. Don't sweat it. 

The Day I Showed Skin

I love my body. I love clothes. However, like virtually all women, I don't always like how my body looks in clothes. There is nothing particularly profound in this. Women's bodies are diverse causing certain clothing to appear differently from one person to the next. The lady who can rock the hell out of skinny jeans may look bulky and awkward in a pencil skirt. It's the way of the world.

Yesterday, I realized that I was opening a new chapter of my life. Matching my slowly fading purple jeans, I wore a black jersey top with embroidering in purple, blue and red. However, it wasn't the bogus pattern that caught the attention of my boyfriend and honoree Sis, Miss All Ass. The uneven bottom edge of my shirt never met my jeans, revealing my bottom torso. Not at all tight, the shirt also slouched, leaving my left shoulder exposed. My skin was out!

I always enjoyed playing dress up but was always dressed modestly. My tops were never cut really deep and I only wore skirts with stockings. Belly shirts??? Girl please! I could never.

That is until yesterday. Yesterday I stepped out with my skin out and you know what? It feel good. I used to despise summer clothes because they were typically revealing. It was a hassle to try covering up my chest and shoulder acne with thick make up. I'm slender but without a perfectly flat stomach, I considered loosely fit shirts a better look for me. But the top I wore yesterday showed my imperfections and I did not feel at all uncomfortable. When Talib Kweli told us to put our hands in the air, and my shirt then raised leaving all of my midriff exposed, my friends did not care. And so didn't I.

Monday, June 20, 2011

The Second Time Around... sometimes better than the first time*!

This is a very special edition of Throwback Tuesdays! This installment features one of the best remakes of an already great song/British nursery rhyme, "Georgy Porgy,' a classic from American rock band Toto featuring Cheryl Lynn.

Soulful, ain't it? That's that blue-eyed soul for ya! I'm not at all familiar with Toto's music but I understand that their music delved into jazz and funk, both elements being featured in 'Georgy Porgy.' Disco and r&b star Cheryl Lynn also did her thing by showing off the power pipes she is known for.

Twenty years later, my lover, neo-soul icon Eric Benet teamed up with Faith Evans to do their own rendition of Toto and Cheryl Lynn's hit.

Remakes are hard to judge. Sometimes a classic is so incredible that it is offensive to touch it, the quality of the remake is irrelevant. Then there are other times when the original is better but you feel badly because the remake was a good song as well but just couldn't hold up.

However, I believe this is one of the rare instances when the cover is doper than the original. Unlike Toto and Cheryl Lynn, the Benet and Faith have chemistry together, giving the song an energy it really didn't have before.

So what do you think music people? Who did it better?

*A Shalamar Throwback is coming very soon. Very, very soon.

Sunday, June 19, 2011


So I was searching for a song that would be perfect for this post. And it took all of 5 seconds for me to pinpoint just what song I wanted as a tribute to my Daddy and to all those Daddys and Grandaddys (I'll even big up the brothers and uncles too) of the world.

There are plenty of ballads sung about mothers but not too many sung about fathers. Fathers just don't get the praise they deserve and we definitely need to celebrate our fathers better. Mother's Day gets a whole big hooplah but all Father's Day gets is a sale on ties and tools. I can only speak for the father I have and the fathers I know, and the vast majority of them are some of the best men I know.

My own Daddy has raised up 5 children, 3 of which are growing men. The 5 of us are well on our way to doing and being the best we can with what God gave us. There have been days were my daddy would come home exhausted after working multiple straight days of double shifts just so that he could pay our school tuition. My daddy and mom have worked their butts off to ensure that we know what our priorities should be: God, family, education, and then success. They have both slaved away at their jobs to secure our academic future at the best private schools and have sacrificed fixing our home, buying better cars, taking vacations, and even buying clothes for themselves.

My daddy is my hero. I learned to cook from him. I learned how to budget my money. I learned sacrifice. I learned to put education first. And I learned love.

My father is the hero in our house and the cornerstone. He is the quiet strength that I seek out when I'm weary or need some comfort. He is my mentor, my idol, and my daddy. I could never ask for a better father.

The song I chose as a tribute was one of the songs that has always stuck with me. I've watched this movie multiple times with my father and have listened to this song many times with him as well. This is one of his favorite songs and since I couldn't find it anywhere in playback form I had to make my own video.

This song sums up for me the strength my father embodies. A strength of mind, strength of body, strength of spirit, and a strength of will. I thank God for him and for all that he has done and will continue to do.

I send best wishes out to all the fathers, grandfathers, uncles, brothers, and men, especially those working their hardest to improve the lives of those around them. Take time out to wish someone a Happy Father's Day, even if you don't know them. Happy Father's Day to all the men doing the best they can for their families. I pray that your sacrifices and love guide you all to success and happiness.

Happy Father's Day!

Photo complements of this blog.
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