We'd like to thank you for all of your support in 2011. You have been good to us. Look out for even more thought provoking, humorous, and just random posts. We hope we can continue to make you laugh, cry, and inspire some aha moments.
So here is a recap of some of our (and your) favorite posts:
Guess who's back in the muva effin house! (cyber shots if you get the song reference)
I'm back y'all and it feels fantastic. Ya miss me? Cause I've missed you all.
While I've been slaving over the computer finishing up my first grad school quarter, I've also been keeping track of posts that I plan on putting up here as soon as I stop partying. Expect some humor and some internet goodies. So here goes:
Web Junk of the Week- This I will hopefully have done by tomorrow actually. (I blame the antibiotics I'm on for not allowing my to drink. Stupid sinus infection.
Throwback Tuesday- Since Le Chele has been dropping the ball lately, I have a few throwback posts waiting in the basement to make ya groove, reminisce, and learn a few things.
My response to the Safe Sex Commandments - I agree with most of them, but I have to speak my piece on one or two.
The promised Fiore Scott Files: When You Touch My Hair Part 2
Fiore Scott Files: Retro Video Games (Part 2)
Why I Give- This topic has been on my mind for a while now and I want to post about it and see how others feel.
Introducing: Drink of the Week- I like to drink. Sue me.
I'm back for now. I might have to take another hiatus when my finals hit for my next quarter, but I'll be around for a minute and hopefully regularly providing you all with entertaining and informative posts. And please, if you have any questions, comments, or have post suggestions feel free to get at us at sisterescape@gmail.com. And for those of you who have already contacted us, we'll be hitting you up soon if we haven't already. And thanks to all the commenters! Keep em' coming folks.
Ayo dawlins! It's been a minute. I've been hiding behind stacks of books, trying to be productive for class. I have managed to succeed and am very happy with my current standings. Just gotta push it out.
That being said, with grad school, work, and just being plain ol' lazy- I've found myself being a lousy friend. Now I was never really good with communication in the first place. If it's face to face, I can often be the life of the party and keep my friends rolling on the floor with laughter. Or I can sit there and listen to all their problems for hours and then try to give advice. I love my friends. Sure there are those that I count within my inner circle and I often base my inner girl circle on who would be my bridesmaids when I get married. Let's just say I plan on having a big wedding. But that's a good thing right?
These wonderful ladies and gents (you know who you all are) know embarrassing things about me, have known me for a ridiculous amount of years, have giving me a bed or couch to crash on, have seen me at my worst, and have seen me at my best. I've taking care of them when we've had too much to drink, I've cock-blocked, I've given and gotten advice, have had ridiculous random dance parties with, have had road trips with, and have driven/flown miles to see. We've studies together, got trashed together, cried over troubles, laughed over joys, been totally inappropriate, and have created some fantastic memories together.
These wonderful people are the types that I can not have spoken to for weeks, even months, and as soon as we get on the phone it's like we had talked just the day before. And I feel truly blessed that I have so many people that I can call my friends, my true friends, my best friends, my loves, my babes. You get the point.
But at the same time, I know I need to stop being such a bum, get off my butt, and make time to call my friends. There's one particular gent whose been waiting for my call, since it's my turn to call, and you're first on my list. And I've got a couple of people that I missed their birthdays since I usually rely on facebook (I know I know I'm one of those lousy people and you are too), and with the change in layout I barely go on anymore, so I'm always missing birthdays. So to all of you that I've neglected, HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY. You know I've got nothing but love for y'all. Sorry for being a lousy friend.
Honestly, I just want to say this as a public service announcement. Treasure your friends. I'm pretty sucky at doing so, and luckily that hasn't usually adversely affected my relationships. I'm blessed. And with friends like these, I'm a pretty happy camper. I love you guys and gals and thank you for putting up with me for so long. Nothing but love.
That's right. You heard us. We have given in to the man and have expanded to Facebook. We are 105 members strong in only 3 days and constantly growing. We wanted to open up our escape concept to a place where dialogue with others can be open about anything. The idea of our Facebook group is for members to feel free to use this space to post inspiring or funny stories, the latest gossip, political fodder, general thoughts, questions, or ideas, music, or anything that comes to mind!
So I hope you will join us. We've already had some fun, creative, informative, and interesting posts. And don't plan to stop!
We've come a long way since the beginning of this blog. Us 4 ladies started this blog back on May 2, 2011 with the idea of given our thoughts a place to breathe. We wanted to create an enviornment where we could escape for a bit and hopefully allow others to escape with us. So far so good I think.
With 36 followers, 100 posts, and 10966 hits (as of the writing of this post)- we are well on our way to doing something pretty big. And I couldn't be happier. This blog has been a great motivator for me. I've kept up on current events, have continued to build my friendships with my friends, have matured extensively, and have learned a lot about my friends I didn't know before. It has been a blessing and I hope you will continue to enjoy this blog as much as we do.
Look forward to more humor, political rants, throwbacks, self-reflections, ruminations on life and friendship, and just whatever comes to mind. And if there is anything in particular that you want us to speak on or if you have some comments please feel free to email us sisterescape@gmail.com. And if you don't already follow or subscribe, get on the horse! We're fun ladies and you'll enjoy it.
Here in New York City, we have experienced our fair share of rain in the past few weeks. The weather has put a damper (pun intended) on people's summer plans *cough cough Afropunk festival cough cough* and it doesn't show signs of stopping any time soon. I hate the rain, particularly being outside in the rain, so I have decided to take advantage of the gloomy weather and use it as a time to be productive and catch up on some much needed work. However, after viewing my checking account balance, I have realized that many weekend nights will have to be spent at home, whether rain or sunshine. So fellow members of Broke Phi Broke, know that cutting back is not the end of the world and will be advantageous in the long run. Here are some of the ways I will remedy this not-so-fun phase of my life.
1. Create a game plan to end my brokeness
I have never really followed a budget, which is pretty pathetic considering my age and history of poor spending habits. So I am going to create one! First, I have to find a calculator considering I haven't used one since high school. Then I'm going to have to be real with myself. How can I revamp my wardrobe while still fulfilling my love of gastronomics? What do cut out of my spending to allow me to put $$$ in my currently-non-existent savings account?
I then am going to pull out my calendar, something I haven't used since...ever, and better organize my job search game. It is so easy to get overwhelmed but having a blue print makes the process easier. For me, it is easy to just say apply to 3 jobs a day for me to actually do it. Make sure your resume and cover letter are at their best and remember to stay positive and confident.
2. Reading and writing
I refuse to allow my brokeness to force me into a life of boredom and what better way to bring excitement into my poor life than with reading and writing! *sigh*
Here is the time when you can catch up with current affairs by perusing newspapers and blogs and all that jazz. Taking after my father, I have a bad habit of reading two or three books at a time and never having the discipline to finish many. My bookmark is smack in the middle of Amiri Baraka's Blues People and I have readings for class about systematic racial segregation in America.
As for my writing, I have a half-written short story in my journal, one unedited short story, three unedited/ unfinished poems and countless ideas not yet put on paper. Plenty of free time should be a viable solution to my struggles with self-motivation.
3. Cleaning my Nasty Ass Basement
For real, for real.
4. Cooking Something Unique and/ or Healthy
Sadly, Papa Chele has been sick for the past few months leaving me to have to help out Mama Chele little more. Preparing food for the family has been one of my main responsibilities. My parents are picky, Southern and therefore want food they are familiar with. Well, now that I have more time to myself, I can take time out to cook for myself. I think I am going to cook one of my favorite dishes from my vegetarian days, Chickpea and Dumpling soup. Nutritious and delicious!
5. Invite Loved Ones Over
After you clean your nasty ass house, you can now have company. You can be nice and prepare food for them out of the goodness of your heart. But you can also be real and place a hat the foot of the door, reminiscent of Rent Parties, and have your friend reimburse you (assuming they aren't as broke as you). Either way, it is easy to feel lonely during times like this so it is important to not allow your financial struggles to keep you distant from your friends. So having your friends over for a card party or just play Bid Whist with your parents like me and endure the mindless trash talking. Upgrade your iTunes or dust off some classic vinyls because chances are it is better than that Bottom 40 shit their playing in the clubs.
So yeah, take time out to create a blueprint for a better future for yourself. However, understand this is an opportunity to work at improving your mind and body while appreciating the non materialistic things in your life. So cook some good food, pull out your Marvin Gaye anthology and be merry!
Before there was the obsolete Myspace, the befuddling google +, and the powerhouse (and increasingly annoying) Facebook- there is one oft-forgotten social network that was for me and many other black youth/adults the start of our true social internet experience. That website is: Blackplanet.
Come on. Don't look at me like I'm crazy. I know y'all giving me the side-eye right now, but I know- I just know- you remember having a profile or two. Especially the old ones which actually started teaching us how to do html and all, since we wanted sparkly banners, flaming icons, backgrounds of our favorite rapper or just cash, and scrolling sentences saying how hot we were. Don't act like you don't remember.
I definitely remember and I won't front about my experiences with it. When our young generation began embracing the internet we all went on there for aol's chatrooms and places like Blackplanet. There was no google search, youtube, wikipedia, or pandora. It was a pretty simple process of waiting until your mom got off the phone, turning on aol and waiting for the annoying scratching booting up modem thingy to connect, then going somewhere trying to interact with others on the internet.
We'd accept friend requests from random people, giggle with our friends over stalker boys, and try to make our profiles as flashy as possible so that we could get lots of hits. But then that quickly became boring and obsolete, especially when things like Myspace came on. Blackplanet was popular in the black community, but Myspace was popular with everyone- even internationally. So I stopped using blackplanet and you did too. That was ninth grade for me.
Then I headed to college and as I said in an earlier post: one of my older college friends had told me about her experiences with dating/being involved with men from the internet, and I was interested, especially because I wasn't getting any attention from the people in my tiny college environment. I wanted to feel pretty and I wasn't getting that from the various men (I admit I was only interested in black men at the start of my college life- quickly grew out of that, thank God), so I decided to try something new and different.
Blackplanet had(s) definitely changed. Now it's mainly a more grown (and sometimes sexy) crowd, and for all intents and purposes, it's another free internet hook-up dating site. It used to be majority middle school/high school kids just interacting with each other, rarely with the intent to actually meet up (or maybe that was just me and my friends?). Now it's definitely utilized for two people to engage each other over the internet than meet up. That's what happened to me. But after my experience I deleted my account, feeling that it was just not for me. It was nice having guys message me expressing how beautiful they thought I was, but I had no interest in meeting up with these guys and they clearly had no interest past sex. That's just not me.
I recently stopped by the site and it still looks the same as it did when I was in college. They've tried to make it more sophisticated to keep people interested, but I don't know anyone who actually has an account (or is willing to tell me they do). I'd say it's pretty obsolete in this current technological age, but maybe you'd beg to differ.
So then: Has Blackplanet become obsolete? Do you even know what Blackplanet is? Have you ever used (or do you still use) it? Got some stories?
I know I'm not the only one who used it. Break it down.
Yes I just saluted myself. Yes I did just call myself beautiful. And yes it is my birthday [1].
As I'm typing this I've just finished putting my funfetti cake in the oven and am preparing to head to the hotel room Zipporah Pearce, lemonswithsalt, and I booked for the night. We are going to go out clubbing somewhere or maybe even stay in and have girl time. I just know liquor and ridiculousness will be involved. You jealous Le Chele?
Today is my day, dammit, and I'm going to party like i have a job there's no tomorrow. My theme song for today is this lovely throwback. This is my jam and it is The Jam. Ain't it funky.
As we slowly make our way to 5000 views and continue to gather subscribers, I want to thank all of you readers out there for taking time out to read and comment on our blog. I get warm fuzzies everytime I see the hit counter go up and that people actually appreciate what I have to say. So thanks. Us three ladies will definitely toast to you guys and gals tonight, so I hope you will keep escaping with us.
I gotta give a shout-out to my lovely parents, siblings, uncle, grandfather, cousins, friends, and even to the randoms who sent me facebook well wishes. I wouldn't be what I am or where I am today without their support, pushiness, love, friendship, and presence. I'm 23 years young. I don't feel any older and I even lost a few pounds. I'm headed to grad school in September and I have high hopes for a job. Some money in the bank and a cake in the oven [2]. So life is good.
Happy Birthday to all my fellow Cancers out there (like my lovely lil bro who woke me up with a kiss on the cheek). And Happy Birthday to me. I thank God for another year and for all the blessing I'm sure will come.
Have a lovely day folks! Peace!
AN: It's been a slow few weeks. It's the summer so the four of us are out enjoying the weather. So the posts have been few and far between. But bear with us and me. We'll be back with more to say soon. And look out for a special 5000 hit post!
[1] It's also Ringo Starr's birthday. So happy birthday Ringo!!! [2] Not to be confused with bun in the oven. Ain't no babies coming from over here anytime soon without a ring and my own place. Can I get an amen?
Two of my best lady friends (and I'm thankful I have so many!) and I were enjoying happy hour and the topic of sexy time in relationships came up. I will admit that I have never had a long term relationship so the idea of sex getting boring, just not happening as often as it used to, or not really lusting after your partner is foreign to me. In the few relationships I've been in, we've been good to go with little coaxing involved [1]. So when it came to advising my friend on how to revive the passion, I really didn't have much to say. I just listened to her and my other friend (who also had dealing with a long term relationship) gab about it.
But one thing that did come up was music. I had advised my friend some months before that music can be key to setting the mood. Having some really smooth sexually-tinged tracks on an itunes playlist. Or just playing around on youtube with your boo and playing some Teddy Pendergrass or some Lauryn Hill can really get you there. Have you ever slow danced in your room with your boo to some Jill Scott or Maxwell? Panty-dropper. You should try it fellas. Thank me later.
My friend did thank me for the advice. She tried that by playing some Robin Thicke and it was clutch. Trust me if you haven't done it already, add some music and step that sex game up. Sexing to some good tunes can set the tempo or could give you and your partner some ideas.
All that being said, here are some artists that are perfect for the Sexy Time Playlist (in no particular order):
Or really any of his older stuff when he had that wonderful "I'd do him right now" hair.
2. Jill Scott- The Real Thing: Word and Song
Self-explanatory, especially for us big sexy sisters.
3. Bilal- Love For Sale
Lawd Lawd Lawd! That is all.
4. Floetry- Floetic
Why did they have to do solo careers? All they had to do was keep pumping out stuff like this. Seriously.
5. Teddy Pendergrass- Life is a Song Worth Singing
Well. We all know how it's going to go down when you turn this on.
6. Keith Sweat- (Self-Titled)
Have you seen this video? I'm sure you have. How old are these people anyway?
7. Raheem DeVaughn- Jackin' For Beats/ Heemy Taught Me
This video is the business. If you don't have this mixtape. Get it now.
8. Marvin Gaye- Let's Get it On
Another classic panty-dropper. He didn't beat around the bush (ha!).
9. The Roots- Phrenology
Unsurprisingly they have a few beats perfect for sexy time. Another one is with Jill Scott.
10. Prince- Batman Soundtrack (And much much more)
I love how he has that and then he has this.
(Of course I had to give my favorite artist two songs.)
11. D'Angelo- Untitled
All of us lady were all up on the TV when this came on back in the day.
12. Trey Songz- Trey Day
Yeah, Trey Songz has some good stuff. It's still crazy how he worked his way up from his "Just Gotta Make It" days to now.
13. Minnie Riperton- Adventures in Paradise
Yall didn't forget about her did you?
14. Musiq Soulchild- Luvanmusiq
He has some of the most beautiful love songs.
15. Ne-Yo- In My Own Words
Imma try this one day. :D
Well then, that's just a few songs I have one my Sexy Time Playlist. If you are going to have such a playlist (which I always suggest), title it something that won't have you stuttering if your dad is looking for music to play and happens upon it. I go for "Untitled". An ode to D'Angelo if you will. Aiight then:
What songs/artists would you add on your playlist? Does music do it for you and your partner, or does it take something else? Speak on it.
[1] No long term relationships you say? It is what it is. Actually I think it's pretty common for a lot of us younger ladies and fellas to not have been in serious relationships. We've got many more years. Don't sweat it.
Yes. This is exactly what you think it is. Another birthday shout-out.
You're probably thinking: How you not going to post for a week then come back with this? Yet another birthday post, can you get some new material?!
Well my dear friends. Life has been calling. I've been drinking. Taking care of my family (no kids yet #pause). And playing Cafe World on facebook. I've been busy. Sue me.
Jokes.
Actually this was going to be just that, but my girl lemonswithsalt beat me to it. So I decided to sit on this post for a bit to figure out just what I wanted to say. And then it came to me.
One of my best friends, the very wonderful Zipporah Pearce, is leaving me to go back home. Sure I'll see her when I decide to hop on the bus and take that ride to her home area. And sure I'll be able to talk with her through gchat and email and comment on her facebook posts. But she won't be here. And I realize that I both haven't taken advantage of seeing her enough and have become very comfortable with her being in such a close distance to me. Because the reality is, I don't have many black friends in my area. It's probably ironic because I live in one of the metropolitan cities in America (sorry no brownie points for guessing which one), and there is no lack of black people. Yet the vast majority of my black (and Latino) friends live in other cities. And that poses a problem.
Because sometimes you just wanna hang with black people.
Now don't get me wrong. I love love love all my friends and I love going out with all of them, no matter who they are or what race they are. I wouldn't be friends with them otherwise. But sometimes you just want to be with who and what you know best. And for me that is with my fellow black people. Sometimes I just want to grind up on a dude in a hood ass club. Sometimes I want to chill in a funky lil dive bar which has the DJ spinning O'Jays while I'm sipping on some E&J and diet Coke. And sometimes I just want to talk about my issues with negroes who make the rest of us look bad.
Sure I could bring some of my white friends to that hood ass club, and I've done so before. It was fun and a new experience for them. But if I want to crack on some black chick who has on a tacky ass weave or rant about some racist ass picture about some black woman I saw earlier that day, my black friends (especially the three ladies I'm doing this blog with) are clutch, because more often than not we are on the same wavelengths about these things. That's not to say my other friends wouldn't get what I'm saying or vibe with me, but there are many things in black culture that only other black people can truly vibe with. Just like there are things my white, Asian, Indian, etc. friends can't really talk to me about. That's just reality.
And my reality is setting in. I will admit to having only 1 or 2 black people in my area that I can really vibe with. A part of it is my fault as I have just fallen off with people, but the telephone line works both ways. But at the same time I realize that its time to get out there and rebuild bridges that are in shambles and create some new bridges along the way. I'm going to take care of the few friendships I do have with the blacks in my area and reach out to those who I've connected with before. And I'm going to invite my other friends to things that I might have before only invited my black friends to. And I'm hoping it will replace the hole Zipporah's leaving.
I'm going to miss Zipporah's presence but I know she's not too far from me and that our friendship will remain strong no matter the distance. I'll still be able to vibe with her even if not in person. And I know it will be messy when we do get together. I'm probably going to tear up when I see her for drinks next week but I wanted to shout her out for being that fantastic friend I could vibe with. Here's to you homie.
Y'all know I had to put this in there. Now this is some good music to vibe to. The stuff of legends.
