Tuesday, August 23, 2011
There are have been some days when my faith in Jesus was sorely tested. Going 7 months without any job prospects after college while trying to deal with my lack of independence while living at home, was an especially rough patch, but I always told myself to keep going on and that 2011 would be my year. In my darkest hours I even got on my knees and poured my heart out to God for guidance, strength, comfort, and motivation. And He has done exactly what I needed over and over again.
I know that I'm not the best Christian. I rarely read the Bible, don't go to church as often as I should- and when I do sometimes I'm stingy with tithes, do many things that are foolish, overindulge, am stingy and self-absorbed, often have a lousy attitude, and don't speak to God or listen to Him nowhere near as much as I'm supposed to. And I have the habit of going to Him when times are rough but not giving Him His due when I'm doing well.
Yet through it all, God has continued to bless me, comfort me, and provide for me. He has always come through. And this past weekend it took some extremely trying events happening which forced me to sit down and confront the fact that I had been living too fast and not making time for God. I realized that God had really blessed me this year, giving me two jobs, helping me get into graduate school, blessing my family many times over, and giving me many other untold blessings. And I have definitely taken them for granted.
I'm glad I am able to slow it all down and put things into perspective. I've been making a lot of moves in the right direction but also been messing around quite a bit. There's nothing wrong with enjoying life to the fullest, but I realized that I might have been enjoying some of the wrong things. I can only thank God that he put me in a difficult situation that allowed me to fall back and get myself right. In the words of TI and Kanye, sometimes you have to drive slow.
So today and everyday after that, I'm going to continue to thank God for really sitting me down and helping me remember what I need to do to improve myself and really make things happen for me.