Monday, August 1, 2011

Should Have Never Gave You N***as Money!

In the famed words of Dave Chappelle (or Rick James depending on who you're asking), there are some ninjas* that just don't deserve to have money.

I've been sitting on this post for a while since I've been lazy and busy (yes you can be both), but my latest foray into the blogasphere has left cursing under my breath at these ninjas who have money and blow it on the stupidest things. Honestly, as a broke grad school studen,t who is lucky enough to be working part time and trying to scrape together two nickels; people sitting on lots of money who blow it up their noses money so quick and end up broke, in-jail, and bemoaning their own stupidity on Behind the Music piss me off to high heaven.

So here is my list of ninjas (and non-ninjas) who clearly don't deserve to make more than 5 figures a year.

1. Soulja Coon Boy 

Whether or not the rumors of him buying a "swagged" out jet are true, he [and the jokers he surrounds himself with] clearly doesn't know how to manage money if he is already getting tax liens and having a house foreclosed on and he only just turned 21. That's one big ol' fail. Talk about blowing money fast. Swag.

2. DMX

Boy is this tragic. He is one of my favorite rappers and could have been one of the GOATs in rap/hip hop if he hadn't got caught up in the white stuff. Tell me you don't jam to this when it comes on. I blame Tyrone.
He's been in and out of jail, and with his recent release, I can only hope that he makes the right choices and stays clean/sober. His talent is wasted in jail and we need him in hip hop cause many of these fools (though i admit, not all) currently making waves are straight garbage. And even if you don't make any more music DMX, please stay sober, cause you say some real foolish things when high.

3. Ja Rule

As soon as this dude went through his "i'mma cry in ever song like I'm Mary J. Blige" phase, I couldn't take him seriously. That and when he had his whole fued with Eminem, I thought he was a huge tool and douche bag. But I digress. Ja Rule is another case of a ninja who doesn't pay his taxes . He admits that: "
I was a young man who made a lot of money. I didn’t have the best people guiding me. I made mistakes. Things fell on hard times for me. Things kind of spun out of control.” But with money comes great responsibility. Maybe it's the elitist part of me, but you should be able to hire someone who can keep track of your finances and not screw you over, if you can't do so yourself. And as someone who has been working and paying taxes since I turned 16, I just can't believe that he didn't know he had to pay taxes for various things. Guess ninjas can't read or research either unless they want to know which video vixen gives the best dome.

4. Speidi aka. Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag

I had to throw in these two non-ninjas just because I happened to see a Huffington Post headline regarding them being broke. You make all this money on reality tv, spend it on getting ginormous boobs, then end up broke. Poor babies have to settle for living in Spencer's parents beach house in Santa Barbara. Ah the tales of blonde d-listers.

5. R. Kelly

I have to give props to Clutch Magazine for the hilarious new nickname of Kells as "The Pied Pedophile of R&B". He has had to deal with a foreclosure on his Chicago area home meaning no more easy access to the kiddies?
, court battles over unpaid fees, and now another tax lien after he failed to pay the government $837,000. Looks like homie needs a golden shower himself. 

6. Whitney Houston 

Crack is wack y'all. And unfortunately Whitney has fallen back into her old antics. She was definitely on the come up, actually not sounding too terrible on her concerts and actually looking healthy. But she and her daughter just can't say no to that white white. Thankfully she (was?) is in rehab and hopefully will get herself back to these days. Cause she's been like this sadly. Now Bobby Brown is the one making moves while she's just looking crazy. And to both of them, please check your daughter. Cause that ain't cute.

7. Patricia Kluge-

Now you probably don't know who this is. I didn't either til I did a bit of research on bankruptcy in my rss feed and come upon the ridiculousness that is this woman. She is know as the "wealthiest divorcee in history"
(according to Huffington Post), having come out of a divorce settlement, with media mogul John Kluge, with possibly a cool $1 billion (at the lower end $1 million a year). And just 11 years later she's filing for bankruptcy. You my dear are dumb. I'd say more but the idiocy speaks for itself.

These are just a few of the people I could think of who really made me want to kick them in the face. On the bright side, they helped somebodies economy right?

*What is a ninja you ask? No it's not this. It's just another way of saying nigga. But its pc. Happy?

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