Ladies and Gents it has been a while. I've been dealing with family drama and stresses, finals, work, and all other types of things that have taken me away from this blog. I've missed y'all.
Now on to a topic that has been grating at my soul for the past month or so. Ladies and gents, I'm dealing with The Thirst. Now, I'm not the thirsty person. Unfortunately, I'm the one on the receiving end and it's not pleasant. Now for those of you who don't know what I'm talking about, let me make it plain.
The Thirst is a term applied to those that just can't take a hint. Would-be-suitors who just keep calling or texting and aren't deterred by a lack of response. The men and women who just won't take no or silence for an answer.
My current thirsty acquittance goes to the school I work at. That wouldn't be a problem since it's a huge college and I should be able to duck and dodge any attempts of his approach. It has worked so far, except when it comes to my phone. Since February when I told him in no uncertain terms that I did not have time or patience to date (date him specifically), he took this as a signal that he should still try and be my friend. I responded that he can do whatever he wanted but that I honestly didn't have time for him. I was (and still am) busy with work, grad school, my family, and trying to get my life situation together. He did not fit into the picture.
However since then the texts, call, and voicemails have continued unhindered and he just hasn't gotten that no response means no interest. I haven't responded to ANY of his messages and I don't plan on starting now. Yet the thirst continues. I'm tempted to send a fake reply text such as: Sorry the number you are trying to reach is no longer accepting text messages. Msg. 4186.But even then I feel like he'll use that as an excuse to call.
I don't really know what I should do, if anything, in this situation. I've gotten a few "I saw you today" texts which are a bit creepy but hopefully harmless. And maybe after a few more weeks he'll finally get the hint. For now I figure I'll just wait it out and see what happens. Hopefully I won't see him around on campus but maybe if I do I'll be able to let him know that his interest is not wanted. Hopefully this is just some harmless thirst.
Have you ever had a thirsty acquittance? What did you do to deal with The Thirst?
Guys and gals. This feeling just literally smacked me in the face. My gut clenched and I felt a twinge in my neck.
It's official. Ladies and gentlemen. I want a boyfriend.
Cue world ending.
Now people who know me know I'm not being melodramatic. I'm not the type of girl who needs a man or usually even wants one. I may go out "man-hunting" every once in a while, but my feelings can go either way. If I meet a guy and we dance all night, that's cool. If we exchange numbers I may gush over it with my friends for a bit. But then I usually just let it go. I'm usually in a period of hibernation. Sure sure, I'm not totally turned off. I'll flirt with a guy in a second if necessary. But at the same time, I haven't really cared one way or another if I started dating a guy or not. I definitely appreciated the fineness that were the multitude of male specimens that happen to pass my view. But now I don't want to just look. I want one. I want a man.
I haven't had this feeling in almost two years. Yes you read that right, two years. It's been that long since I've been involved with someone. Long time ain't it. Well, not really. Before that it had been 3 years. I mean, I just don't really crave relationships. I don't search for them and if it happens it happens. But I usually don't care one way or the other. Even one of my guy friends brought it up two days ago, asking if I had any prospects. I responded that I didn't and that I wasn't really interested because of work and graduate school. But then I have my periods, like now, where chillin' and focusing on other things just isn't good enough. And I won't just settle for flirting and moving on. It's go time. I want a man.
After a second night (though not sequential), since I've turned 23, of getting "Girl you are crazy!" type texts from friends, after telling yet another ridiculous story, I've realized that yes maybe I have taken a few steps too many off the deep-end. I've increasingly put myself into what could easily be dangerous situations with men, though I have had the luck and blessings not to have had any problems.
I've realized that since college, I've had different spurts of living on the edge. And right now I've been busting out.
The first guy I was involved with I met off the internet [1]. I was 18 and foolish. One of my older college friends had told me about her experiences with dating/being involved with men from the internet, and I was interested, especially because I wasn't getting any attention from the people in my tiny college environment. I wanted to feel pretty and the attention he lavished me did just that. But looking back, it was a really dumb and dangerous thing for me to do. To just meet up with a random guy I had met over the internet and talked to a few times on the phone. And to make matters worse, I didn't meet him at a public place. I met him at the bustop near his house and we ended up hanging out at his place.
WTF was wrong with me? Naivety at it's best.
Luckily everything worked out and we ended up being involved (I refuse to call it dating) for a couple months after that. But it was still a really dangerous thing for me to do. He could have been a rapist, could have drugged me then kidnapped me, or other perfect scenarios for Law and Order SVU/CI. I was blessed not to have any of that happen. And I admit that after our affair ended, I realized I needed to be a bit more discerning about such situations and stopped any dealing with internet dating. Sure it has become more mainstream, but you still have to be careful of the weirdos/possible rapists. Sometimes it works, many times it doesn't. I'd say after that that I had a solid 4 years of safe living. I focused on my studies and getting out of college. Sure I partied, and hard at times, but I still was pretty safe...mostly [2]. But lately, I've been letting loose and losing my mind.
Maybe it's because I've finally started my adult life: having graduated, recently being accepted into graduate school, and having started a permanent job [3]. Maybe I'm feeling like I need to have a bit of fun before I get loaded down by work and classes. Or maybe I'm really getting sick of living at my parents place and this is my rebellious side kicking in. Probably a mix of all three, but either way, I've been putting myself in ridiculous situations and (thankfully) living to tell the tale.
My latest bout of ridiculousness dealt with my hanging out with two random ass guys I met on the subway one Friday night. We struck up a conversation and I found out that one was from the area and both had studied here. They were partying in a different area and I wished them luck as I went my separate way with my friends. I ended up doing BYOB bowling with my friends (best idea eva!) and then leaving before them with the intent of getting home before it got to late. (Oh the curses of living far away from downtown.) Who do I happen upon in the subway? The two random guys. Mind you they had gotten off at a different stop, yet here they were. They called it fate. I called it ridiculous. Yet and still, when they coerced invited me out for drinks, I took a gamble and said ok. It was 11pm and I knew I needed to get home because it would take more an hour at least, but I decided to take the plunge and be crazy for the night.
We ended up going to a bar I was familiar with and having a good time. They ended up fighting for my attention, which really boosted this girl's confidence. Having two guys fight over you is pretty awesome. They even offered to pay my taxi home if I stayed later with them. I politely declined but did accept the offered subway fare home. On the way home it fully struck me just how ridiculous and crazy I was. I had gone off with two random guys I had just met to a bar. They could have taken me anywhere, but they didn't. They were extremely nice and I wouldn't mind hanging with them again. But I had been blessed that I hadn't been in danger and that I hadn't ended up on the evening news.
Maybe this isn't dangerous to you guys. And maybe you're giving me the side-eye for hanging with some randos. It happened and it was fun. Will I put myself in such another situation? I don't know, but hopefully I'll use my head either way. Maybe sometimes you gotta step out and be a little crazy to experience a bit of fun and a story to tell your friends. So yes, maybe I'm a bit crazy.
Side-Note: This is just such an awesome song I had to put it here. It kinda has something to do with what I was saying. Anyway, give a listen.
[1] Y'all probably giving me the side-eye right now. Don't be acting like you've never signed up for OKCupid. Actually, this site was Blackplanet. THROWBACK! [2] Totally ignoring my ridiculous sophomore year. [3] Boss status.
My friends will tell you that for the past year or so my libido has been on cruise control. As in, not a twitch, quiver, or jump. I could stare at a fine ass man at a bar and feel nothing. I'd appreciate his fineness but I never got the jump in my heartbeat or the coil in my body that told me I wanted to jump him. And this happened all the time, so it wasn't a fluke. It happens to the best of us I hope. Sometimes our bodies and minds just aren't feeling it.
But lately my libido has decided to do a 180 and put me back in the ring. It definitely started with my lusting after a cable guy who came to my house (that's a story for another blog post) and a gorgeous Italian guy who I fortunately found out was married before I made a complete fool out of myself. We flirted and danced and I realized that for the first time in forever (over a year), I really dug a guy. I was ready to pounce and was actually ready to make the first move. But God stepped in and luckily I found out from a mutual friend that he was married. I was crushed but I was happy in the fact that I had actually felt something for a guy after so long.
I'm telling you all of this because today I almost crashed my car.
Why you ask?
Because the finest man I've seen in my city was jogging down the block as I drove by. This man in all his fineness made me do a double take. The kind that when I turned back forward, I had to swerve to not hit a car. DAMN. DAMN. DAMN.
He was definitely one of those "God broke the mold when he made you" men. Tall, beautiful brown skin, muscles that had me fanning myself, a cute tribal tattoo on his upper left chest, and beautiful face. I clearly got a good look.
He had me ready to turn my car around and follow him down the street. But traffic wasn't having it and I had errands to run. But I still got to see some yumminess and I felt something. It was delicious.
Maybe I'll see him around. Maybe I won't. But he let me know that I was definitely back in action, no longer on cruise control, and finally steering the wheel.
AN: No that's not the dude in the picture. I was just giving y'all some eye-candy.
One of the best moments in my undergrad career happened on a lazy spring day, when my professor said, ' Ladies, when you are in a relationship, any relationship, the equation should always be 1 + 1 = 2.5.' We all looked at her like she didn't have a Phd. Then she explained you should both support each other's growth and greatness during your journey as a couple. You should be more together than you are a part. That doesn't mean that 1 is the loneliest, saddest number, but simply that you should encourage the best in each other. Now that I am out of a 2 1/2 year relationship and back in Singledom, I am wondering if 2 - 1 can result in 1.5? That is, can you do and be better by yourself? And how do you come to that decision when the relationship you're in is fine... as in, he's a great dude, treats you well, really loves you etc.?
...More on life in Singledom...
Now that my bags are unpacked and I've settled into my new room in Singledom, I am trying to figure out just where I fit in. Am I ready to date? Do I wanna smang? Meh, neither of the above. For the first few weeks after the break up, I thought I was ready to jump in there. Get my pipes plumbed and what not. But, the more that I think about it the more I realized that I need to remember what it's like to be in a relationship with just me. Now that we are not together I have so much more time to just do whatever I want to do, when I want to! I almost feel like I am rediscovering myself all over again and just getting back in touch.
At the same time... when I feel my sexy and want to share it! And I'm the type to do that in relationships or prolonged casual dating situations and what not [read: my options are limited!] I had a talk with my cousin about dating and she said, 'when you're ready to date, you won't have to question it this much.' Bam. Words of freakin' troof! So, for all the other recently single ladies out there, take that chill pill and take the time to rediscover all the lovable unique things about you!
